With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
being pregnant is like rehab
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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