My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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