i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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