Can Purell be used as lube?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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