I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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