ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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