she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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