He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize