Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
