I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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