No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
