i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
