too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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