Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
