Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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