Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
