we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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