If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"