So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!