Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
