Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
