So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
