he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Panties = found
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
