Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
id be glad to
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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