omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize