he wants to bone in the snuggie
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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