and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
