Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
