There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
