She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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