The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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