If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
