So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
