why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
