Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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