She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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