I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
