we're blogging at a bar
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
