I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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