too bad you live with your parents still
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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