Porn is love you can see.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
