Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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