i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
