Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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