Screwed.edu
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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