i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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