That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
