dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
