Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
