Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
