Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
