3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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