i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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