This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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