im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
