she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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