Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
