You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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