No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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