so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
