you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
