i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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