Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
